My Journey to Liberation

THIS IS PART OF july’s “OUR PUBLIC MEMORY” July Spiritual PIES practice on Sharing our Stories. IF YOU MISSED THIS NEWSLETTER, READ IT HERE.

Before I was born, I was never my own anything. I was my parents. I was my twin. I was my husband. I was my children. I was told who I needed to be and so I were.  I proudly clung to the titles daughter, sister, wife, and mother more than I recognized the sound of my own name or the desires that dwelled dormant, docile and voiceless, unheard and unseen to be anything but those things. I placed that outward validation and recognition on the big red detonation button I felt beating deep inside my chest. And then BOOM…one day I realized I was a prisoner to people pleasing in the court of public opinion. I heard my sentencing echo from the mouths of those who once favored my unconditional love and service to them, which was often in neglect and to the detriment of my own being.

One can never quite place when the journey actually begins but rather recount it as a moment that transformed into an ever-present state of being. This journey that we collectively find ourselves calling "life" can be one of contentment or liberation. For so much of my 26 earthly years, the former was true. Without the conscious innerstanding that my being and becoming were not one in the same, I was undoubtedly the absolute most immediate final link in the chain that kept me bound to only see my worth in light of what others valued it at. My  journey to liberation was simple – find the balance between selfless and  selfish and commit to self-care. And so, each day  I embark on my journey looking through a mosaic lens — beautifully broken, purposefully placed, in black and white but full of technicolor. In fragments yet revealing piece by piece the bigger picture of ME.

This post can be found on BriTanya’s Facebook page.